For a couple of years, I can label myself as a “functional” user of Marijuana because I was still able to work normally, but that ended soon.
I moved from one addiction to another, including marijuana and alcohol. I started doing things I never thought I could do just to support my addictions. I felt shame and heartache inside me. During that time, I knew that I needed help. I still had two young daughters and I was aware that I had to end my addictions for them not to suffer from the faults.
My addictions put my two daughters and me in very risky situations. The place we were living during that time was extremely vicious. I was too ashamed to ask a relative for a help and I was too afraid to hear their judgments. I could not imagine living my life without my daughters. Without them, my life would have no any direction. But, our father in heaven guided and directed me to the right path and let me see things much better.
The situation we were in left me with no choice. My daughters and I needed to leave our home and I did not really know what was going to happen at that time. We just take some clothes with us and we left almost everything behind. I called one of my relatives for a help and fortunately, she allowed us to stay with them temporarily. As we were on our way to my relative’s house, I looked up to the sky and just prayed. In the back of my mind, I knew that I didn’t have the enough strength to overcome my addiction and start over again. I also felt ashamed to my daughters because my addiction puts them in this terrible situation.
All I could do at that time was to pray. I didn’t question God about anything; I just asked him to guide me and help to get through this situation. I knew that if I had not asked God for a help, I would have been destroyed physically, mentally and emotionally. I know that if I had not surrendered my life to our almighty father, I would have lost my children and I would have been controlled by my addiction forever. I felt useless, but as I let God take control over, everything fell into the right place at the right time.
Within 3 months after deciding to end my addiction, I got a full-time job, my own car and an apartment. I forgot to attend church during the days of my addiction, but now I once again became an active member. My daughters are also active members of the church. I now spend my extra time as a facilitator in the addiction recovery program. I never thought that I could live my life as wonderful as it is right now. Through my years of sobriety, our almighty Father has healed me and let me live my life in peace. I have learned to forgive myself. My road towards recovery started with a single prayer.